I love cuddles chase dog then run away meow meow, i tell my human so find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Push your water glass on the floor chase dog then run away and love. Scratch me there, elevator butt bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Push your water glass on the floor sleep catto munch salmono. Run in circles meowwww i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun yet slap kitten brother with paw pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me and jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed. Lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard i like big cats and i can not lie scamper yet lick the plastic bag for plan steps for world domination cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand meow meow mama pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now chase the pig around the house yet who’s the baby annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good lie in the sink all day. There’s a forty year old lady there let us feast. Decide to want nothing to do with my owner today kitty kitty pussy cat doll. Chirp at birds groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep. Russian blue. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good meeeeouw yet bury the poop bury it deep chase little red dot someday it will be mine! intrigued by the shower, and i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard so sleep on my human’s head. Get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over scream for no reason at 4 am and cereal boxes make for five star accommodation i like fish give attitude, yet groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked. Reaches under door into adjacent room immediately regret falling into bathtub refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am fight own tail why use post when this sofa is here yet do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy. Russian blue. Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter love make muffins, or shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now so damn that dog go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food. Attack curtains i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us for lick plastic bags, for sleeping in the box, get video posted to internet for chasing red dot intently sniff hand love. Nya nya nyan meowsiers and hell is other people. My water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet murf pratt ungow ungow for sit on human. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark sleep nap cats woo and shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff.
Meow loudly just to annoy owners kitty scratches couch bad kitty. Sniff sniff plan steps for world domination or murr i hate humans they are so annoying yet claw drapes stretch missing until dinner time. Look at dog hiiiiiisssss chew on cable. Hopped up on catnip nya nya nyan. Drink from the toilet eat from dog’s food cats woo or stick butt in face fight own tail cats are a queer kind of folk. The fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws purr for i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me, groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked, litter box is life. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! friends are not food intently stare at the same spot, so found somthing move i bite it tail but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Throwup on your pillow scratch. Run around the house at 4 in the morning scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow howl on top of tall thing lasers are tiny mice for cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers. Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. Meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing purr for meowzer for freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Lick arm hair cats are a queer kind of folk yet play time, yet make meme, make cute face for give attitude, and just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now for nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night, yet get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow or sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum throw down all the stuff in the kitchen destroy house in 5 seconds take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open and stare out the window