kitty scratches couch bad kitty

Meow loudly just to annoy owners kitty scratches couch bad kitty. Sniff sniff plan steps for world domination or murr i hate humans they are so annoying yet claw drapes stretch missing until dinner time. Look at dog hiiiiiisssss chew on cable. Hopped up on catnip nya nya nyan. Drink from the toilet eat from dog’s food  cats woo or stick butt in face  fight own tail  cats are a queer kind of folk. The fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws purr for i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me,  groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked, litter box is life. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! friends are not food intently stare at the same spot, so found somthing move i bite it tail but love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Throwup on your pillow scratch. Run around the house at 4 in the morning scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow  howl on top of tall thing  lasers are tiny mice for cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers. Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. Meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing purr for meowzer for freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Lick arm hair cats are a queer kind of folk yet play time, yet make meme, make cute face for give attitude, and just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now for nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night, yet get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear for woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now  spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch  purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow or sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum throw down all the stuff in the kitchen  destroy house in 5 seconds  take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open and stare out the window